See this is why I didn't want people going into details. There are a handful posting regularly so why drag up the past when all it does is encourage discourse?
I have no idea who tar is and couldn't care less. I'll judge him the way I judge everyone - how they behave now. If someone is interesting or funny or a good sport then I'll happily chat with them. If someone is bad mannered, unkind or childish I'll eventually give up and not bother with them. Everyone seems ok and almost sane as far as I can see.
I try not to incite riots. For my part I genuinely regret asking about what had happened. Most people don't realise they are all responsible and to blame when they post and things go wrong. Most see themselves as innocent parties.
I can't understand anyone wanting to inflame this handful of visitors. I hope we have a reasonable discussion and then it ends. Life is short and you're dead a long time.